A Note from Valerie Bourdain

It was my most-read blog, posted on January 3, 2010, on a WordPress site that only boasted three subscribers - My mom, my little sister, and my writing coach. The topic was the reality series, "The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders - Making the Team." The piece was written from my heart about the show my daughter and I loved to watch together as she battled terminal adrenal cancer. Megan died on Easter Sunday of 2008 at the age of twenty-seven, but the memories of cuddling up in her bed and watching the cheerleaders remain the sweetest.

 

A Google search of "Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders" in 2010 brought up over 200,000 possibilities, yet somehow with an algorithm of only three readers, I landed in the spotlight. In no time flat, I had 40,000 subscribers and enthusiastic followers who faithfully looked for my bi-monthly posts. That was long before the word 'influencer' was a buzzword, and six years before the birth of Tik Tok. That same year, I won The Cure Today Magazine Extraordinary Healer Writing award for an essay about Megan's chemo nurse: From Beginning To End. The excitement included flying from Omaha to San Diego as one of three international finalists. At the close of an enchanted evening with Ann Jillian as Mistress of Ceremonies, From Beginning to End won the prestigious award which I read (with a quivering voice) before 900 of the world's best oncology nurses and physicians.

 

I thought I was on a roll - but in the blink of an eye, I was back in primary caregiver mode. Mom died of lung cancer in 2012, and Dad passed 14 months later from leukemia. From Megan's diagnosis in 2004 to Dad's death in 2013, my traveling passport bore the frequent flyer stamps of two cancer centers and countless hospital operating rooms. Writing went to the back burner, and finding my place in the world without three people I loved became my full-time job.

 

Now, 16 years since Megan's passing, I have found a life and a voice. At age 67, I bear the wrinkles of an older woman who has grieved deeply - but the markings on my face pale to the impression those experiences left on my heart.

 

This is my journey. I've learned a few things about funerals in the last 16 years. This is my story, ranging from what is the best Funeral Guest Book to buy to making DIY Memorial gifts..all written with the hope that it will help the next person along the way.

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